I’ve had this one sitting in drafts for almost 2 years now. Let it be unleashed onto the world now!
This was another creative writing assignment, writing from the POV of someone who has a secret.

“But June, I love you.”

I recoiled, and stood up off the edge of the bed. The audacity! Now, after all of this is over, now he says it? It took everything in me to stay composed. 

“Orion.” I said, keeping my voice as level as possible. I would not admit anger now, I’ve kept myself cool thus far. “I just want my stuff back. I am not going to call and ask again. And if you make me come get it myself, there is going to be hell to pay.” He fell silent, probably wondering where we went wrong. Why I snapped. Maybe it was his big mouth when he had more than he could handle. Maybe it was the bouquet of secrets he kept… maybe it was the fact he never once told me that he loved me. I waited in silence. The seconds passed into minutes as I paced the strip of carpet between the bed and desk. I can wait all day you slimy-

“Alright, alright.” A shade of resignation colors his words. “I’ll bring it over. But I work tomorrow, so it’s now or next weekend.” Uh oh. “If you want it today, just tell me where you are so I can hand it off.” I could feel the sneer. The way his lip curled up on one side. The image was so clear in my mind. He wanted me to admit where I was.
I glanced over at Athena laying in bed, completely unaware of how the phone call had turned. Propped up with my pillow and snickering at her phone, I wanted nothing more than to crawl back to her and continue our lazy day together. I hesitated just a second too long.

“June? Your head still in bed?” He knew. Somehow this pile of shit knew everything. But I wouldn’t admit it. I can’t. I can’t let him win.

“Yeah sorry, I haven’t had any coffee yet.” I waved at Athena to get her attention, and mimed driving. We need to go! “I’m at my mom’s place. You need directions still?” I chuckled weakly. My attempt at a jab was just to hide the panic creeping up my body, like vines on a trellis. You idiot! He’s closer to mom’s then you are right now. Luckily Athena had gotten the message, and sprung up off the bed to root through my bag for car keys. 

“Nope, I remember it just fine. I’ll see you when you get there.” Click. I turned to meet Athena’s eyes as she pulled her shoes on. She broke away first and began to get ready. I turned and grabbed my sweatshirt off the chair behind me. 

“He knows, doesn’t he.” Her eyes were fixed on her shoes. Not a question, a statement.

“I don’t know how,” I replied from inside my hoodie. “You didn’t tell anyone…?” I trailed off.

“Of course not! But let’s talk and drive.” Athena stood and tossed me my keys, but I promptly tossed them back. I let my hand stay extended- it shook like a wet dog. I looked from my hand to her, one eyebrow raised in silent question.

“You’re shotgun, got it. However, I will need directions.”

We met for the first time back in fifth grade. His red hair was close-cropped, kind of military like, but it didn’t do justice to what would become his normal curls. He brought his own lunch to school, and as the only other person that did that, It made for a great opening for conversation with me. As for my thoughts at the time, well, I wanted nothing to do with him. I would rather continue to exist inside of my circle. But one day he just started talking to me like we had always been friends. Like one day he had just woken up and assumed we were going to be friends forever.  Neither of us knew what we would grow into one day. Two flower bulbs, planted in a garden of potential. 

I practice my breathing exercises to try and ‘keep myself centered,’ as Athena peels out of the driveway. Usually I clutch my pearls and any nearby handles when she drives, but this time I was thankful for her sheer speed and ability. We turned wordlessly onto the main road next to her house, and continued in silence until a red light told us it was time to talk. 

“Do you have a plan? Do we need a plan?” Athena’s mind was clearly still racing, weaving in and out of possibilities as she glanced between the light and my face. 

“I… I can’t think of anything.” I looked down at my hands, clasped tightly in my lap. They had stopped shaking, but my knuckles were white and wrapped around each other. I took a deep breath

“I mean, we’re both guilty,” I began. “It doesn’t really matter anymore does it? I just didn’t want to be the first one to admit it. I thought I could… I dont know, force it out of him first. Make him admit to being a cheater. But he called my bluff.” 

“Seems like the therapy is working at least. But you’re right. We talked about this in the beginning, didn’t we? This was going to happen sooner or later with you two, we knew that. Both too stubborn to admit you were wrong, or that it wasn’t working.” Athena kept her eyes on the road as the light turned green. There was no malice in her words, but they swept over me like a winter wind, and stung about as much. I smiled half-heartedly.

“Orion and I… We’re like a rock and a hard place huh?”

There were a few years where Orion wasn’t around. I don’t know the details of it, but I didn’t realize how close we had grown until he was gone. He left at the end of seventh grade, and didn’t come back until sophomore year of high school. I remember seeing him again for the first time in years, after only being able to stay in contact over the internet. One day he showed up at my door, ready to take me to school. No hi’s, no how are you, just acting like nothing had happened, assuming everything was back to normal. It took me longer to wrap my head around him being back, but I eventually did. Our flowers had been watered, and were beginning to bloom.

I considered my next words carefully, trying to figure out how to articulate the tornado or words in my mind. 

“I… I…” Words escaped me still, as I tried to pluck them out of thin air. Thankfully Athena gave me grace and waited patiently for me. “Is it so bad? I mean, him and I, we’re over. Were we ever really started?” 

“Honey.” Athena took a hand off of the wheel and placed it over both of mine, still tense in my lap. “I am well aware of how you feel. You were manipulated and used, and you did what you had too.”

“But did I? Did I have to be a… be unfaithful?” The word cheater, while appropriate, filled my mouth with dirt. Athena took the next turn off of the road and immediately pulled to the side. Here it comes. Just like last time. Just like with him…

“You were manipulated,” she repeated. Her gray eyes stared into mine, unflinching. Sometimes I admired how straightforward and blunt she could be, most of the time it was rather frightening. 

“My therapist prefers the term ‘emotionally abused.’ Says that using the right language is important for some reason.” I slumped down as far as I could in the passenger seat, after finally breaking her gaze. Athena sighed and put her hands back on the steering wheel.

“There isn’t a right answer here. What matters is that you realized what was going on and refused to let it continue. You left. You got help. You wanted something new, something healthy.” She smiled at me and turned the car back toward the road. “The fact that you talk to me about all of this, when the only other person that knows is your therapist, means that you trust me. There is a health that we have, you and I. We communicate, we don’t assume.” She looked at me pointedly as she finished. Orion and I had been nothing but assumptions. 

Neither Orion nor I ever told the other about how we felt. We were always just… together. After high school, He wasn’t too keen on leaving town again. It was like something was keeping him here. Or someone. I think I knew it was me. I mean, we both ended up going to a local college, and without even talking about it we started looking for a place together. We just assumed we would be together. Not even romantically, just physically. You don’t really just do that with strangers, at least I wouldn’t. So we went to college together, with our own place- Just some little college town apartment; run down, holes in the walls patched but not painted over. Two bedrooms, one bathroom. It was about as close to campus as our price point would allow, with Orion living on savings in the beginning, and myself working customer service. It took me our first year to realize that while Orion would have friends over, he never had, well, “friends” over. Before spring break of our second year, I asked him.

“What are we?”

“He always just… assumed that we would be together.” Athena already knows the story, but saying things out loud helps me organize my thoughts. She nods, as I continue talking to no one in particular. “It was nice at first, to always have a friend with me. But I didn’t really have anyone else. I couldn’t keep friends for more than a quarter at a time.” Athena occasionally added a “yeah” or “uh huh” to show that she was listening, as she checked her corners and wove in and out of lanes with scary precision. All while I kept my thoughts on the past and let her focus on driving. “When I asked him that night… He looked at me like I was crazy. But we hadn’t talked about our relationship ever! What was I supposed to think?” I paused. “What he said essentially amounted to us dating and I just… went along with it. I don’t think we ever had a clear conversation establishing our relationship.” Athena finally made the turn off of the main road, and I realized we were rapidly approaching our destination. 

“I didn’t realize how controlling he was. I didn’t have any friends because of him. I couldn’t hang out with anyone because of him.” I was on a roll now. With my moms house so close I couldn’t stem the flood. Athena kept glancing at me warily out of the corner of her eye but didn’t say anything. Maybe I just needed an environment other than the stuffy professional office that I visit on Wednesdays. “I needed something, some kind of relationship I could.. control. Not like that-” my eyes darted to Athena’s face.

“I know what you mean, it’s ok.”

I sat up and took a deep breath. “The worst part is that I stayed. I knew he was cheating for so long, and I didnt do anything, I didn’t say anything. I let him use me.” I was mad now. This was years of rage that had only been hinted at in recent sessions; always bubbling, but not quite at the surface. But it was rising rapidly now. 

The car slowed. I looked up and realized we were pulling into the driveway, and Orion’s 2004 forest green Saturn was already parked out front. Athena rolled to a stop on the street in front, and put the car in park. 

“Well? You ready?” Ever the supportive partner.

I cracked my knuckles, only half joking. 

“Ready to be done.”